Nope, take your mind out of the gutter…
I’m talking about that thing that can creep up on you out of nowhere. That thing that you may only experience once in your life, or that thing you have to keep monitored because it arrives one day and never leaves.
Depression.
It’s a word we all know, and you may have first-hand experience or know someone in your life that has talked about their own mental health battles with this particular condition. Over the years, it’s fair to say the attention surrounding mental health has increased, and it’s becoming more and more common to hear people talk about it openly. This of course is a positive, but it doesn’t mean it makes it easy or straightforward to discuss if you’re personally affected or have loved ones going through a difficult time. It can be a very scary and unnerving subject to approach, and we often don’t know the right thing to say or do, no matter which end you’re coming from.
The friend who is always life and soul of the party tells you they are depressed…what do they mean? They always seem so happy? Surely they aren’t depressed, they are probably just feeling a bit sad at the moment…right?
Depression occurs for a variety of reasons rather than one single cause, your brain may be chemically imbalanced, you may have experienced trauma, it may run in the family, your lifestyle has had an impact, or you may find you become depressed for no real rhyme or reason.
Depression can be incredibly isolating. It isn’t as simple as just feeling really “sad”, and it often can’t just be explained away. It’s an invisible weight you carry with you, an overwhelming lack of strength to complete everyday, normal tasks. Eating, drinking, washing, working, and socialising can seem impossible, and it can take everything you have to just get out of bed on a morning. People don’t choose to be depressed, and it can snatch away the light of those even with the biggest smiles without warning.
Speaking from personal experience, having to explain why your mood is so low, despite having a positive life with no obvious causes for why you feel this way can be incredibly difficult. It’s easy to feel like a burden, to feel as though you are being dramatic and just feeling sorry for yourself, but the reality is that this is an illness, and you have little to no control over when it strikes. I have had to be very aware over the years what my potential triggers are, and take steps to ensure I’m doing what I can within my control to help alleviate the effects an episode has on me.
I’ve been fortunate enough to respond well to medication over the years, and up til now it hasn’t been needed as a permanent solution. However, this isn’t the case for everyone, and as someone who has been prescribed anti-depressants on more than one occasion, it does come with a surrounding sense of taboo. I need tablets to feel normal? There must be something wrong with me, better not talk about it!
Your light is dimmed, and it can be a slow, uphill battle to shine bright again, and if those little pills can be a step ladder to help someone find hope in a vast black hole, should they be viewed in a negative light?
Medicinal approaches also aren’t for everyone, and you have to decide what is the best route to recovery for you, and you only. Counselling and other talking therapies are also effective, and can be used to treat a number of mental health conditions, not just depression. It’s always worth exploring different avenues until you find the right fit.
What do you say to someone who tells you they are experiencing depression? It is understandable to feel awkward, unsure or just very unequipped to deal with this conversation, but they aren’t expecting you to be their therapist. Be who you’ve always been to them, they trust you enough to tell you they are struggling, they’ve taken the hard first step of admitting they need help, and sometimes a simple gesture of being present with them while they share, while they cry uncontrollably, or even just sitting in silence with your favourite tv series on can go a long way. Be patient and open, they will appreciate it more than you know. I’ve been fortunate to have people that are willing to do all of the above with me, while I slowly become myself again. And in return, my door is always open to others.
To those struggling personally, or are supporting someone through a difficult time, keep going. Every day is a step in the right direction.
Love, G x
Leave a Reply