Well, it’s been 18 months since my last post. I wasn’t sure if I was ever going to post again, I lost myself, my momentum and I didn’t think I had anything worthwhile to share, maybe I still don’t but when I originally started this blog, I said I would share honestly and try to be as relatable as I could…so bear with me, I’m a little rusty!
I’ve been debating with myself what the first post of 2026 should be about, a 2025 recap will probably appear at some point (worst year ever!) but instead I wanted to start with a topic and question that is on a lot of lips recently – modern dating and why is it so hard?!
I found out after my relationship ended last year that I was being cheated on for the entirety of it, and it was a blow I never expected; the betrayal was overwhelming. A question I was often asked after was “but didn’t you suspect anything, surely there were signs?”.
No, was the answer, I didn’t suspect a thing. I’d like to think I’m a fairly intuitive person and can sense when things aren’t right, but I was happy and had no reason to not trust him or believe he was leading a double life behind my back. I had let my walls down and thought we were a team building something good, but I couldn’t have been more wrong and my confidence has never taken a bigger hit.
As a 31 year old woman, there is a silent clock ticking away in the background, the societal pressures to “settle down” and “build a family” before my eggs turn into dried up powder, while also being told to focus on building my career, get on the property ladder, travel more, maintain a healthy social life and gym routine, remember my daily SPF and get a regular good nights sleep…oh, and when I do meet someone I might like the look of, I must also remember to “play it cool and not seem too keen”. I speak as a woman but I also appreciate men are facing similar struggles, minus the dried eggs.
When did it become the norm to be detached before we attach? Is it not a fundamental part of being human that we make meaningful connections, both mentally and physically? Living in a digital age has made it easy to cut contact, sift through dating options like a takeout menu and find casual sex in just a few clicks. Consistency, effort and clarity have somehow become “green flags” instead of the bare minimum, and don’t even get me started on ghosting. Giving someone the silent treatment in real life is considered emotional abuse, so why are people so comfortable doing it in the digital world? The sentence “Sorry, I’m just no longer interested” exists FYI; even after one date, it’s basic respect is it not?
Being single can be really bloody lonely, and the silence I experience at the end of my working day can be incredibly loud. This is by no means a “woe is me” sentiment, but having someone I can talk with after a difficult or uplifting day can make a world of difference; even if the communication is actually just sitting on the sofa in silence but knowing they are there is enough.
Dating apps have become a fairly standard way of meeting someone, but with so many out there it is hard to know where to start. They are an easy way of scouting possible matches, but you also have to be prepared to get rejected on a daily basis, and when your self-esteem is already in hell, it’s hard to muster up the energy to put yourself through it, knowing there are no guarantees.
I say this with love to all my married and loved up friends, but sometimes “you’ll find someone when you’re not looking/least expect it” isn’t all that helpful…what if I want to look? I don’t always want to pretend I’m super chill and happy to be single forever, because a lot of the time that isn’t true. I’ll always be independent, have my own mind and have my own goals and aspirations, but I’d also like to build something real with someone if I can. I absolutely have plenty to look forward to, seeing more of the world, getting my own business off the ground and laughing uncontrollably with my friends, but a companion would be a welcome bonus.
My experience last year made me honestly believe romantic connection wasn’t meant for me, the possibility of being hurt like that again just wasn’t worth it; but I had to really ask myself if I was prepared to keep letting him and that relationship have power over me? He didn’t cheat because I did something wrong, he cheated because he wanted to, I could have been perfect and he still would have made that choice. I had a choice over how much I was contributing to my own suffering; I had to stand up and find myself again.
Modern dating is a minefield, but we have hearts for a reason. I want to use mine, and I have to keep telling myself to stop overthinking, stop hiding away, and allow myself to be vulnerable. If a guy thinks I’m weird or needy because I send a double text or a 5 minute voice note, then so be it, I won’t apologise for trying to show I care.
If you’re reading this and have been wondering if you should ask that person out on a date; do it, the risk might just be worth it ❤️🔥
Love, G x
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